Personalized Pregnancy & Labor Support

Month: July 2015

Breastfeeding Guilt And What You Can Do About It!

 

breastfeeding baby coral springs

Ever feel breastfeeding guilt as a mom? Maybe it’s because you aren’t breastfeeding your newborn son or daughter anymore? Or maybe you have to supplement because your milk supply is low? Maybe you are exclusively pumping because breastfeeding was too painful? Whatever the case may be, breastfeeding guilt is real! Unfortunately other moms, friends, and family  can make it worse. Have you ever heard a mom say “I have three kids and I breastfed all of them for 12 months”? That comment might make a new mom feel inadequate and really guilty.  That may not be the intent,  but it surely does insult a mom who is struggling to breastfeed or stopped breastfeeding all together.  Moms need to support each other and not make new moms feel guilty for what they are doing or not doing with their child.

My advice for moms that are feeling guilty for one reason or another is to talk to someone they trust. Talk to your partner, your friend, your doula, a lactation consultant, or doctor. Sometimes there are things that can be done to help you feel less guilty, like ways to increase milk supply,  or pump more effectively. Doulas and lactation consultants can offer advice on positions to make breastfeeding easier and less painful. Getting your newborn son or daughter to latch on correctly can make all the difference. A new mom who wants to breastfeed, but have sore nipples because their baby isn’t latching on correctly, can benefits from taking a breastfeeding class, pumping class or setting up an appointment with an IBCLC ( internationally board certified lactation consultant) in their city.

Breastfeeding moms are constantly getting unwanted advice from others. Trust me when I say that they are tired of hearing other say “you’re baby is hungry, just give him a bottle” or “there’s no way you’re producing enough, you need to supplement with formula”. These words add to the guilt that a new mom might have.  Another piece of advice is that breastfeeding moms shouldn’t feel like they have to take advice from everyone that is offering it.  It is probably best to NOT take the advice from someone who has never breastfed or someone that gave up after 3 weeks. You should take advice from a trusted friend or family member who breastfed their child for several  months or more, or see a lactation consultant. Your doula can usually recommend one in your area. Just know that you are doing the best you can do! And find support from positive people and professionals who truly want to help you succeed with breastfeeding your child!

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The Pressure to get an Epidural for First Time Moms

 

I have been seeing more and more that first time moms are getting pressured into getting an epidural for their upcoming labor. They have friends and family, even some doctors and nurses, telling them that they will NEED it, they WON’T be able to deal with the contractions without it, or that they are crazy for NOT wanting it. I am wondering WHY everyone has such an opinion about this. I am thinking it might be because they themselves had an epidural or couldn’t manage THEIR labor without it. Maybe they are insecure about the fact that they had one? I personally don’t think getting an epidural is anything to be ashamed of. In fact, I had one with each of my labors, but you won’t hear me saying that YOU need it. You won’t hear me saying that you CAN’T manage the pain without it.  In fact you CAN manage your pain without one. You can do anything you set your mind to!

As a childbirth doula, I will support whatever decision you make. If an epidural is in your birth plan I will support and encourage you throughout your labor and delivery just the same. Having a birth plan can help remind you of the birth you desire, but it isn’t a binding contract! You do not have to stick to everything that’s written in your birth plan. If you decide you want an epidural or other pain medication during your labor you can have it. As your doula, I will support that decision. One piece of advice I give my clients and friends is that this is YOUR birth, no one else’s.  You don’t owe anyone an explanation of the choices you made. The details of your labor and delivery are YOURS!

 

 

This blog written by Lisa Raynor, a childbirth and postpartum doula in Coral Springs, FL.  She is also a mom of three boys, a wife, and loves to blog about pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum care and breastfeeding.

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