July 31, 2016
Being a great doula makes me a bad mom, but only sometimes. And not a bad mom according to most people. I’ve missed basketball games, baseball practices, school events, parties, overslept and made my kids late for school, missed conferences, open houses and book fairs. I’ve been too tired to cook more times than I can count and not been home for multiple meals in one day. I have taken more midday naps than a toddler after I’ve attended a long birth, leaving the boys to do homework or study on their own. Does all of this make me a bad mom? My boys don’t think so, my husband doesn’t think so, but sometimes I think so.
Being a great doula doesn’t make me a bad mom ALL the time, in fact, most of the time I am a better mom. I am able to spend MOST days home with my kids. I get to be with them most days in the summer and take them to school almost everyday and pick them up almost everyday too. My job isn’t a 40 hour week job. I am not gone 8-5, fighting South Florida traffic an hour each way like alot of parents do, but I might have a 20hr birth twice a week instead. I can almost always pack them a lunch for school, help them study for a test and take them fun places on weekends, like our amazing South Florida beaches. I am there for doctor visits, birthday parties, and most family events and holiday. I will always respond to an invite and say, “I’ll be there, unless I’m at a birth”, but most times I can actually go. My phone will always be on, usually in my hand with the ringer to the max volume, but I am still there. I text alot, talk on the phone alot, email alot, but I’m next to my children watching a movie, or watching one of their games while I am doing these things. I am a multi-tasker, as any great doula should be.
Being a great doula shows my boys that doing what you love can also be your career! Being a great doula shows my children they should also pursue a career that they are passionate about and give it their all! You can love your job and look forward to going to work! I love my job, I love being a doula and being a mom! Yes there are sacrifices we all have to make, my kids included, as well as my husband, but it is all worth it. My children seeing me happy is important to me, just as it is important for me to see them happy. I know I am a great doula and a great mom too.
This blog written by Lisa Raynor , a childbirth and postpartum doula in Coral Springs, FL. She is also a mom of three boys, a wife, and loves to blog about pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum care and breastfeeding. Lisa attends births throughout Broward County and Boca Raton. Call for a FREE consultation today!