May 8, 2015
Pleasure With a Purpose…How South Florida Couples Can Make Trying to Conceive Less of a Chore and More Enjoyable!
I’ve known a lot of couples in my life (before and after becoming a doula) who have struggled with fertility issues. After months or even years of TTC (trying to conceive), some of them felt like sex became something they HAD to do every day or every other day during ovulation and not something they necessarily wanted to do. Everything was about peak ovulation days, ovulation predictors, calendars and schedules. Trying to conceive made sex a chore and not pleasurable after a while.
Couples struggling with infertility should try to take the focus off conception and focus on the pleasure, not the end result. I call it “pleasure with a purpose”. The purpose is obviously conceiving and becoming parents. The pleasure is just that! Pleasure is pleasure, enjoying your partner and loving each other. Use this time to do things that you will not do when the baby comes. Be adventurous in bed, excite each other and don’t make it just about making a baby! Once you focus on each other and not ONLYgetting pregnant, it won’t seem like such a chore. A doula or other childbirth professionals are great to talk to about your frustrations or sadness about not getting pregnant. Complaining to your partner might cause more harm than good. As a doula, I talk to a lot of women in South Florida, who are TTC and offer them the same advice as I wrote in this article. I also suggest not playing the “blame game”! Mentioning who is the source of the fertility issues won’t solve anything and will cause more problems. Last but not least, don’t stress about it, the more you do, the more your body is not in a relaxed state to make it happen.
This blog was written by Lisa Raynor, a childbirth and postpartum doula in Coral Springs, FL. She is also a mom of three boys, a wife, and loves to blog about pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum care and breastfeeding. She has been living in South Florida for over 35 years and active in the birthing community in and around Broward County.